I'm starting to feel silly that I'm still so sad about Daisy.
We were out of town for last weekend. My mind got a little break from missing Daisy because it was normal that she wasn't with us. When we got back home on Sunday it hit me hard that she's gone. I feel as if I'm starting over with my grief. It's silly. I know she's gone. I know she was hurting. I know she's in a better place now. I know there's nothing I can do to bring her back. End of story. Move on.
But I miss her. And that's just it. I miss my dog.
People have been telling me stories about their dogs who have passed on and I don't want to be like them. I don't want to move on. I don't want another dog. I want her back. Her presence is so vivid in my mind and in the house that it's almost haunting. My mind is driving me crazy because I look for her in her usual spots, looking out the front windows and beside Vance's bed, thinking I'm going to see her again. My mind still reminds me that Daisy needs to be let out. I know I said last week that I felt like I got a sign from Daisy, but it's not enough now. I need something else.
In a week or so we'll get a phone call from Daisy's doctor, telling us that her ashes need to be picked up. I have no idea how to explain this to Vance. I was fine telling him about Daisy dying. "The doctor can't make Daisy feel better. Because we love her so much we don't want her to be in pain, so we're going to do the only thing we can to help her feel better. We're going to help Daisy die." Anyone have any tips on explaining cremation to a 4 year old?